Man has instinct that does not exist in any other animal: social instinct. This is instinct which has the role of drawing us from focusing on ourselves towards the outside, to the world which surrounds us. That is how it encourages us to participate in this amazing creation of life on earth. This is the instinct which enables us to grow in each person’s personal circle and in everyone’s social circle as well.
With an egocentric attitude a beautiful world cannot exist
with an egocentric attitude good relationships cannot exist
with an egocentric attitude joy in the heart cannot occur.
This instinct is operated by the human consciousness which developed within us during the evolution, in order to allow us reciprocal relations with one another. Without reciprocity we would have remained monkeys.
We were born to participate in sharing relationships. Since our creation we have been equipped with instinct for group life, and in the human consciousness which provides the integrative abilities required for that. It is the consciousness which is responsible for our integration in the complex and complicated social formations, and it is charge of providing us with the required approaches for that.
But in order to efficiently use our social consciousness we have to first stop using our egocentric consciousness, the primitive consciousness, which was used by our forefathers, and today only gets in our way of living with happiness and with love. And what happens in practice? We hardly ever use our human consciousness, and we are totally captive in our egocentric consciousness.
In the simplest words, what happens in practice is that we are self-centered egocentrics, and there is no reciprocation in our attitude towards others. And if our reality is characterized by so much hostility and animosity between men, this is the sad repercussion of our egocentric nature.
Then it should be clear: this is the reality of all of us together, but it begins with each of us alone. It is the product of all of us together, but it also reflects the egocentric human quality of all of us, on our own.
When each person is focused only on their own needs, we can’t expect a more beautiful world, better relationships, greater joy and satisfaction. And if we want a reality in which it will be pleasant for all of us to live in, it is the duty of each of us to personally switch from our own egocentric consciousness to the human consciousness.
Humaneness is the opposite of egocentricity. It creates the vital approaches to sustain harmonic relationships, it is the source of solidarity and tolerance and acceptance, it is the foundation from which love and caring grow, it is the only medium which enables us to integrate in our environment with mutual consideration, and with a fine balance between our personal interests and the shared interests of all of us it turns us into brothers, as opposed to hostile strangers.
The relationships in which the egocentric is involved get disrupted again and again because the egocentric calculates all the time what they give and what the other gives, in order to ensure that no one gets more than them and no one gets less. They are very sensitive to fulfilling their right to receive what they think they deserve, but they are completely unaware of other’s rights.
You have probably heard someone say “it’s my right”, “I deserve it” many times. You probably also say it. But how many times have you heard someone say “if I deserve it then of course you deserve it too”? How many times have you yourself said to anyone: “I insist that you get exactly what I get”?
Think about the ant. This weak creature, which anyone can step on without even noticing, has the highest survival ability of all the animals in nature. Ants have never been in danger of extinction, and no association protective of the balance in nature has to call out for their protection.
What is the secret to this impressive survival? Where do ants draw the power from to exist in such inferior conditions? The only cause is their developed social bond. A lone ant has no chance to survive, but when they are in a group, the ants can take down a much larger animal and then carry it a long distance, all the way to their nest.
Now consider us. None of us has the ability to survive all on our own. And if the human race has managed to establish its dominance in all fields of life and fulfill each person’s needs, the key to that lies in our ability to combine our private aspirations with shared social objectives.
It is an ability we express in the concrete reality. Everything there is around us, all the buildings and the roads and the transportation and the technological devices, all these are combinations of personal aspirations with shared objectives.
But this is an ability we almost don’t express in our social reality. And as far as things go with our relationships, we still haven’t comprehended that the real sources of power are in joining hands. That is why our relationships look like they do, and that is the reason why we are all so frustrated in our relationships with the people closest to us.